wie oft sieht man OMG! Father vs. MEGA SPIDER FAIL!!! oder Dieses Mädchen wird nie vergessen, sie cam wieder ausschalten! - Video. aber mal im ernst leute wenn ihr das gucken wollt das macht es bei youtube oder sonst wo bei facebook klappt es NICHT!!!!!!!!

Ein Pilger und ein australischer Schafhirte treten bei einer Quizshow gegeneinander an. Nach Ablauf der Fragerunde steht es unentschieden und der Moderator der Sendung stellt folgende Stichfrage: Schaffen Sie es innerhalb von 5 Minuten einen Vers auf das Wort "Timbuktu" zu reimen? Nach 5 Minuten tritt der Pilger vor : " I was a father all my life, I had no children, had no wife, I read the bible through and through on my way to Timbuktu..." . Das Publikum ist begeistert, dooch da tritt der australische Schafhirte vor und dichtet : " When Tim and I to Brisbane went, we met three ladies cheap to rent. They were three and we were two, so I booked one and Tim booked two! " Wers checkt unds lustig findet drückt "gefällt mir"! :D

Ein Geistlicher und ein australischer Schafhirte treten bei einem Quiz gegeneinander an. Nach Ablauf der regulären Fragerunde steht es immer noch unentschieden, und der Moderator der Sendung muss eine Stichfrage stellen. Sie lautet: "Sieger ist, wer innerhalb von 5 Minuten ein orginelles, mehrzeiliges Gedicht verfasst, dass sich auf "Timbuktu" reimen muss. Die beiden Kandidaten ziehen sich zurück. Nach 5 Minuten tritt als Erster der Geistliche vor das Publikum und stellt sein Werk vor: "I was a father all my life, I had no children, had no wife, I read the bible through and through on my way to Timbuktu..." Das Publikum ist begeistert und wähnt den Kirchenmann bereits als den sicheren Sieger. Doch da tritt der australische Schafhirte vor und spricht ins Mikrofon: "When Tim and I to Brisbane went, we met three ladies cheap to rent. They were three and we were two, so I booked one and Tim booked two..."

When the Snow falls wunderbar And the Children happy are, When the Glatteis is on the street, And we all a Glühwein need, Then you know, es ist so weit: She is here, the Weihnachtszeit. Every Parkhaus ist besetzt, Weil die people fahren jetzt All to Kaufhof, Mediamarkt,Kriegen nearly Herzinfarkt. Shopping hirnverbrannte things And the Christmasglocke rings. Merry Christmas, merry Christmas, Hear the music, see the lights, Frohe Weihnacht, frohe Weihnacht, Merry Christmas allerseits...Mother in the kitchen bakes Schoko-,Nuss and Mandelkeks. Daddy in the Nebenraum Schmücks a Riesen- Weihnachtsbaum. Hes is hanging auf the balls, Then he from the Leiter falls... Finally the Kinderlein To the Zimmer kommen rein And es sings the Family schauerlich "Oh Christmastree!" And the jeder in the house Is packing die Geschenke aus. Merry Christmas, merry Christmas, hear the music, see the lights, Frohe Weihnacht, frohe Weihnacht, Merry Christmas allerseits...Mama find under the Tanne Eine brandnew Teflon-Pfanne,Papa gets a slips and Socken, Everybody does frohlocken. President speaks in TV, All around is Harmonie, Bis the mother in the kitchen runs: Im Ofen burns the Weihnachtsgans. And so comes the Feuerwehr With tatü, tata daher, And they bring a long, long Schlauch And a long,long Leiter auch. And they all schrei-"Wasser marsch!" Christmas is now-in the Ar***! No, mother catchs the Wihnachtsgoose, kratzing up the ärgste Russ, makes a helle Soß dazu and a cup of tea for two, puts the Braten on the table, everybody takes a gable, father speaks a Tischgebet, mit good will the goose noch geht. And the ganze große house sieht wie nach der Sintflut aus.Water hier and water da, the children rufen laut: Hurra! Dieses Jahr is Christmas cool, vom Christkind gab's 'nen swimming-pool! Merry Christmas, merry Christmas, hear the music, see the lights, Frohe Weihnacht, Frohe Weihnacht, merry Christmas allerseits.

My Brother is over the ocean... My Sister is over the sea... My Father is over my Mother... And that's the beginning of... ME :D ♥

A: Don´t call it Schnitzel B: Alter, hol mein Hamster aus dem Toaster A:The biggest Hot Dog B: Alter, hol den Hund aus der Mikrowelle A: I had the time of my liiiiiife B:alter,du warst nur kacken A: I am your father B: alter, hör auf meine Geburtsurkunde vollzumalen A: die Todespille, muhahaha B: alter, das isn Tic Tac A: Der Todestern B: Alter , hör auf die Discokugel herum zu werfen Wenns dir gefällt LIKEN :DDDDDD

Die Fortsetzung von "How I met your mother" ist "How I met your father"

If you want a lover I'll do anything you ask me to And if you want another kind of love I'll wear a mask for you If you want a partner Take my hand Or if you want to strike me down in anger Here I stand. I'm your man. If you want a boxer I will step into the ring for you And if you want a doctor I'll examine every inch of you If you want a driver Climb inside Or if you want to take me for a ride You know you can I'm your man. And if you've got to sleep A moment on the road I will steer for you And if you want to work the street alone I'll disappear for you If you want a father for your child Or only wanna walk with me a while Across the sand I'm your man

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says “Hello!”. He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, 'Do you know me?' To which she replies, 'I think you're the father of one of my kids.' Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, 'Are you the stripper from the bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery?' She looks into his eyes and says calmly, "No, I'm your son's teacher.”

I ain't a killer but don't push meRevenge is like the sweetest joy next to gettin pussy Picture paragraphs unloaded, wise words bein quoted Peeped the weakness int he rap game and sewed it Bow down, pray to God hoping that he's listenin Seein niggaz comin for me, to my diamonds, when they glistenin Now pay attention, rest in peace father I'm a ghost in these killin fields Hail Mary catch me if I go, let's go deep inside the solitary mind of a madman who screams in the dark Evil lurks, enemies, see me flee Activate my hate, let it break, to the flame Set trip, empty out my clip, never stop to aim Some say the game is all corrupted, fucked in this shit Stuck, niggaz is lucky if we bust out this shit, plusmama told me never stop until I bust a nut Fuck the world if they can't adjust

Money isn´t everything in life, but it keeps you in touch with your children. (said a poor father of 5 children)

2 years ago two parents went out for dinner. A few hours later, the babysitter was calling to see if she could cover up the clown statue in the kids' room, the father said Get the kids and get out of the house, we'll call the police we don't have a clown statue".The "clown statue" was actually a killer that escaped from jail. If you don't post this on 10 videos tonight the clown will be in yor bed at3:00am with a chainsaw in his hand --> ich glaub der Clown hatte zu viel zu tun - ICH lebe noch (: (: (: (:

My father taught me to work he did not teach me to love it. (Abraham Lincoln)

my mother say your are a bitch what..why? ohhh..because your mother has one night stand wwith my father waht!!?? WHAT THE FUCK xD!

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman. I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights. We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time. I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room. I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me. I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again. I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear. We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men. I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me. I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman. I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman. I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male. I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men. I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian. I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that. I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual. I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me. I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind. I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love. I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male. Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it.

Ein Geistlicher und ein australischer Schafhirte treten bei einem Quiz gegeneinander an. Nach Ablauf der regulären Fragerunde steht es unentschieden, und der Moderator der Sendung stellt die Stichfrage, die da lautet: Schaffen Sie es, innerhalb von 5 Minuten einen Vers auf das Wort Timbuktu zu reimen? Die beiden Kandidaten ziehen sich zurück. Nach 5 Minuten tritt der Geistliche vor das Publikum und stellt sein Werk vor: I was a father all my life, had no children, had no wife. I read the bible through and through on my way to Timbuktu. Das Publikum ist begeistert und wähnt den Kirchenmann bereits als den sicheren Sieger. Doch da tritt der australische Schafhirte vor und dichtet: When Tim and I to Brisbane went we met three ladies cheap to rent. They were three but we were two so I booked one and Tim booked two.